Friday, December 19, 2014

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 8

Day 8: Writing Challenge
Writing Prompt: My fears

Fears. When I think fears, I think of my best friend who is terrified of spiders. It was to the point where if you mentioned a spider, she’d scream and probably punch you. In college, when we were roommates, I was the designated spider killer. Let’s just say, by the end of the year, we had shoe prints all of the walls of our apartment. 

Fears. When I think fears, I think of my mom who is afraid of heights, or so I believe. All my life she has made me think she’s afraid of heights, but maybe it’s just that when she’s up high she get’s dizzy, and dizziness isn’t very pleasant. 

Fears. When I think fears, I think of how I felt on the gondola of New Zealand’s tallest bungy jump in the world—the AJ Hackett, Nevis Bungy. All 134 meters of it. While watching my friends, and complete strangers go, I had never felt my heart race so fast, sweat beads forming on my hairline, and my body shaking uncontrollably. That was fear, but I was able to push through, fall to what I thought was my death, to be pulled back up by a massive bunny cord. That fear was only temporary. 

Some fears are like my best friends, they will always remain with you, but some are temporary, as you muster up the courage to push through and succeed, like my bungy jumping experience. Today I am going to write about my fears that stay with me, and will continue to stay with me all of my life. 

Fears. When I think my fears, I think of one. One big one. One that will make or break my life. My fear is that at some point in my life I won’t be happy. I have always considered myself a very happy person. I try and make the best of every situation, I make laughing and smiling an everyday activity and I love having fun and being truly happy. Sure, there are things that have pushed me off the road, that have challenged me, my faith and my happiness, but I’m not talking about that fear. I fear that I won’t be genuinely happy. Maybe I don’t fall in love, maybe I don’t follow my dreams, maybe I don’t do something that I love in life. What if something happens and takes away my happiness and my further dreams of being happy? My fear depicts all my other fears in life. If I’m not happy then this could happy, or maybe that. 

I think happiness is such a staple in people’s lives; it can be interpreted a lot of different ways. Does happiness mean you are living the American Dream—mom, dad, 2.5 kids, and a dog, nice house, nice car? Does happiness mean you don’t follow your dreams and goals, not qualifying for the Olympics or traveling the world? Is happiness depicted by how well your family interacts, how much love is shared? Everyone’s happiness is different. 

My happiness is my biggest fear. I don’t want to lose the biggest part of me, the biggest part of what makes me, me. How can I avoid facing reality with my biggest fear? My only thought: live a life I am proud of. Do what makes me happy, not anyone else. Life a life you won’t regret 10, 20, 30 years down the line. Be you, be messy and be beautiful…because you are His Masterpiece. 

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