Sunday, November 23, 2014

The Peace Corps

I want to share with all of you a journal entry that I wrote dated: Friday, August 15, 2014 

I have always feared that I will not like my job, or more importantly and scary--that I'll get bored. I think this has been a concern of mine for awhile but more so since going abroad. After having the experience of witnessing the wold as our Lord Jesus wants us to see it. After witnessing the seclusion, the beauty and simplicity interlaced with complexity, I realized there is SO much more to life than just work. 

Being a social worker, I want to make the communities and lives of individuals better while being active and having the chance to see the world. There is only one things I can think of that involves both expedition and exploration and working to enrich the lives and communities--The Peace Corps. 

We know a few people who are currently serving and I think with my skill set and passions, the Peace Corps would be perfect for me. It's scary for mom and dad to think about--they have already told me numerous times that I can't do it because there is too much hate and danger in the world. 

I am a 23 year old college graduate who doesn't live at home anymore. I'm an adult, I should be able to make my own decisions about life and employment. I want support and not the feeling that everything I do in  life will be judged and criticized as not the most safe, simple and money advancing thing. I want compassion for my faults, understanding for my need of simplicity within complexity and the acknowledgment that one does not need to make a lot of money to be happy. 

I am at the point in my life where I would take immense experience, challenges and joy over money. That's the Peace Corps for you--a challenging opportunity that offers enormous rewards. I would shave my life be immeasurably enriched and through my experiences and words, so would my family and friends. 

Similar to what Francis Chan writes in his Introduction to David Platt's book 'Follow Me,' I lack joy and challenge (Chan lacked peace). He said that his lifestyle did not resemble the life of Jesus and I couldn't agree more about my life. Ever since my time abroad, I haven't fell all there in the life of Christ, and although I never went to church when abroad, I felt so spiritually invested--the need and want to grow and the chance to be challenged in my own conviction and grown through the experience of helping others. It's memories of these times which lead my dream and hope of the Peace Corps. 

I told Aunt Leslie that I wanted the Peace Corps and she supported me. I just wish my parents were the same--I don't thin I have ever been so sure about anything. I want to help, I want a challenge, an opportunity to grow and become the Child of God, the social worker and the confident, independent young lady that I want to be in life. I can grow and hopefully by the time my term is over, I will know a little more about myself and what I want to do in life--just maybe. 

What I've learned in the past few years is that God works in strange ways--I've always heard that but not through my experiences, I believe. I've been put through a l to and have battle wounds (both physically, emotionally, and written) to prove it. I don't want to look like I'm running away from my problems because no matter where I go in the world, I can't escape them, but I can work at overcoming them through putting my strengths and passions to use. 

Present Day

I went against my parents wishes and I involved my siblings in helping write my cover letter for why I want to be in the Peace Corps. I felt so good, even though I was going against what my parents told me again and again. I did something that I believed in, something that I wanted, not thinking about anyone else. Finally doing something for me, only me. I couldn't have been happier to submit that application. 

Three months went by and it escaped my mind. Maybe I wasn't as certain as I thought I was. Maybe I just wanted to do something that my parents told me 'no' to. A few days ago I received an e-mail saying I am being considered for a PC position in Swaziland. I don't know what to do. I haven't gotten the position yet, but I'm being considered. I want to go abroad, but I want to go back to New Zealand. I'll post about this in a little bit, but thinking about my trip to New Zealand was the one time I had 100% Pure Happiness, Joy and certainty in life. I want that again. 

Life is chaotic and I wish we knew God's plan, but we don't. We just have to pray and do what feels right, do what is the best for you in the time you have. 

Be messy. Be God's masterpiece. 

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